


Under Wraps

by CurlsandYorkshiretea



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Depression, Homophobia, Jack Lives, Multi, Multiple Pov, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-07 15:36:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15911193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CurlsandYorkshiretea/pseuds/CurlsandYorkshiretea
Summary: an alternate take on what could have happened if Jack had lived and Robert had stayed in the village





	1. Chapter 1

The smell of countryside air would forever ignite mixed emotions in the pit of Robert’s stomach. He supposed it should smell like home, conjure up the album of childhood memories he kept hidden away at the back of his brain. It was no surprise to him, however, that any feelings of happiness associated with the familiar scent were masked by the bitterness and resentment that he would never leave his heart when he thought about the place he had deserted. It wasn’t his home. He really didn’t have a home anymore.

It was a heart attack that brought him back. Just a simple partially clogged artery that nearly killed the man who sent Robert away in the first place. Strangely, it seemed that tragedy was often what brought people together in this village, and in his case, tragedy brought him back.

Lately, Robert had been gaining a great understanding of what people meant when they claimed to be “going through the motions”. When he had left Emmerdale, or rather was driven out by the consequences of his foolish actions, he was determined to do something far bigger and better than what his prospects in the small village would have allowed. He had convinced himself that becoming practically estranged from his family was not a loss in his life, but just the push he needed to start becoming the man he wanted to be. Now, several years later, he was on the path to success with a promising job with a successful company, and the only thing he felt was a sinking numbness in his heart.

In this moment, however, he was finally feeling something. Looking up at the Hotten General Hospital, something in his body finally snapped and got his heart racing. The irony of the situation truly baffled him. 

His baby sister was waiting for him inside. She looked even worse than he felt, her eyes red and puffy, cheeks splotchy and pale. She had her arms wrapped around herself as she surveyed her surroundings, most likely searching for him. All the hustle and bustle of the hospital activity immediately disappeared, and all he could focus on was her. To his surprise, she was hardly recognizable, having grown so much in the years since he left. His beautiful baby sister.

“Vic.” His voice was less steady than he would have liked it to be, but he supposed that it was a good sign that he was feeling any emotional impact at all.

Victoria’s eyes searched for the voice calling her name and when she saw him, her face crumpled into silent tears. It was probably fair to say that she had already been doing a lot of crying before he arrived. 

The young girl said nothing, simply propelled herself forward and into her big brother’s arms, holding on for dear life. Robert’s eyes were burning, he couldn’t help it. After such a long time away, he couldn’t describe how it felt to finally see Victoria again, the most important person in his life since his mum had died. For the first time since he had left his home, his family, everything that was safe and comfortable, Robert let himself cry as he hugged Victoria to his chest. 

*****

It was clear that only Victoria had been expecting him. He couldn’t blame his family, really. When he got the call from Diane he had said nothing, simply stood in shock for several moments before slamming his phone shut. It was no surprise that she didn’t think he was going to show up to sit by his father’s bedside.

Once the brother and sister had reunited, Victoria led Robert silently through the hospital corridors to his father’s room, where knew his adopted brothers and stepmum would likely be sitting and waiting for the family patriarch to open his eyes. When he first glanced through the window, Das and Andy were talking quietly to each other while Diane sat next to Jack, looking as knackered as his sister did. 

The shock was evident on all their faces when they spotted him. 

“Robert.” His name fell out of Diane’s mouth as an exhausted sigh. She stood immediately from her chair and pulled him into a hug. For a split second, Robert thought of his mother. “You came.”

“Of course I did.” It didn’t escape Robert that his words didn’t ring entirely true. The young man could have used plenty of reasons to justify not showing his face at this particularly grim family gathering. “I don’t think I could forgive myself if he…”

“He’ll be happy to see you when he wakes up,” Diane interrupted, her body language tense. Clearly she didn’t want any trouble to kick off.

“I’m not so sure about that,” Andy’s disdainful voice made Robert snap his head back to the two brothers.

“Andy!” Victoria sounded appalled, as though she was somehow surprised that Andy would have anything bad to say about Robert. He should have realized that she was too young to understand how strained their relationship was when they left, and clearly no one had been keen to explain it to her.

“That’s enough!” Diane said, not loudly, but in a firm and commanding motherly way. “You boys can sort out your differences later. I’m sure Jack wouldn’t be too happy waking up to see his boys hashing it out at his bedside.”

“I don’t think he would even want to see Robert at all, with the way they left things,” Daz spoke up.

“You keep out of this, mate.” Robert was trying to remain calm, but there was an undeniable hint of a threat in his voice as he glowered at Daz. The other man seemed unperturbed and ignored Robert’s warning tone. 

“I reckon you should just leave before he wakes up, he’s got enough on as it is.”

The air was thick with tension and no one said anything for several heartbeats. Jack’s monitor was beeping steadily, and Robert was breathing heavily as he glowered at the two men who were supposed to be his family.

“I think you should all go if you’re going to be so inconsiderate. Your father almost died, and now you’re having it out over his hospital bed like children,” Diane scolded. “Look at the state of Victoria, for God’s sake.” Diane put a comforting arm around her stepdaughter, whom the three brothers suddenly realized was crying again, silent tears running down and dripping from her jaw.

“I don’t flamin’ need this right now,” Robert said, the defeat in his voice was uncharacteristic and it didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of his family. Robert never admitted defeat. “I’ve had a long drive and I’ve been awake since yesterday morning. Vic can text me if there’s any news.”

“I wouldn’t count on that mate!” Andy called after him as Robert walked out without a word. He could just hear his stepmother’s exhausted and exasperated sigh as the door slowly slid shut. 

He knew he shouldn’t have expected anything else from the brief visit. In fact, he likely got what he deserved. Things had ended on horrible terms the last time he had seen his family. But part of him had hoped that maybe, somehow, things would be different this time around.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how this chapter ended up so long...

Aaron knew that he would soon be in hot water with Debbie, and he was almost bothered enough to get up off his arse and do some actual work. Almost. Working at the garage was good for him, he understood that. It kept him busy and out of trouble, if nothing else, but it was bloody time consuming, and he was hardly making a penny. It was hard to be motivated knowing that he could be making a lot more doing the kind of work he was involved in before his mum had found him, even though it had been dangerous and ultimately instilled an insatiable burn of self-loathing that he was sure would never fade. 

“Oi, you can drink a cuppa and listen to the radio on your own time! I’m sure there’s plenty of oil you could be changing,” Aaron’s cousin shouted at him from the end of the drive as she walked back towards the garage. “I am payin’ you, remember?”

“I don’t exactly see you slaving away,” Aaron shot back, taking another sip of tea. 

“I was checking out some of the old tractors down at Wiley’s,” she defended. “Although to be honest, I think they’d be better off just selling them as scrap.”

“I reckon they’d best set fire to the whole miserable wreck and start over. Who the hell thought fixing up that old farm was a good idea in the first place?”

“The bloke that just bought Home Farm, apparently. Debbie responded. “What’s up with you today? You’re even more snarky than usual.”

Aaron didn’t bother with a retort, just turned up the radio and went back to his tea and sulking. Just then, he heard the familiar crunch of tires on gravel as an unfamiliar car rolled up to the garage. It was a silver Porsche, vintage by the looks of it. The thing was quite flashy, but Aaron scoffed internally at the probability that the thing was a money wasting, petrol guzzling nightmare. It was at that moment that he realized he should probably start working on not being a miserable twat about everything, and once again went back to his tea.

“Robert?” Debbie’s shocked voice made his head snap back up with interest. He didn’t know any Roberts in this village. 

“Hello Debbie, it’s been a while.” The man who had stepped out of the car and was now leaning against the open driver’s side door looked vaguely familiar. “So you’re a proper grease monkey now then, eh?” There was something about “Robert” that didn’t sit well with Aaron. He had one of those smug faces that was just asking for a punch. He did note, however, that the smarmy grin on his face didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I own this place, actually,” Debbie responded confidently. She was clearly determined not to let this man get under her skin. 

“No kidding,” he said, just as confident. “Then I’m sure you can do something about these break pads. They started sounding a bit funny halfway through the drive here.”

“I’m sure my cousin would be happy to assist you then, wouldn’t you Aaron?” she said pointedly. It was clear to Aaron that Robert and Debbie had some sort of history. The tension in the air was unmistakeable.

“Aaron?” Robert asked, turning his attention away from Debbie for the first time since he’d arrived. “Chas’ son then eh? When did he move into town?” He was speaking to Debbie, but his eyes were locked on him, the look on his face unreadable as he sized him up. The strong gaze made the hairs at the back of Aaron’s neck stand up, the reason for which he wouldn’t think too hard on. 

“What’s it to ya?” Aaron asked defensively, standing up to properly meet the man’s gaze. Robert shrugged and his face remained impartial, despite Aaron’s rather sharp tone. 

“Just making conversation,” Robert responded.

“I think you should leave and let us get on with replacing those break pads, yeah?” The young woman stared stonily at Robert, even though his eyes were still locked with Aaron’s. Much to his dismay, an excited prickling ran down the younger man’s spine as he stood under Robert’s attention.

He might have been going mad, but Aaron could have sworn that Robert’s eyes slid up and down his body before he turned his focus back to Debbie. “I’ll be back for this tomorrow,” was all he said, shutting the door and tossing the keys to Debbie before turning swiftly and sauntering his way back down the drive. There were several heartbeats of silence before Aaron spoke.

“Is there anyone in this village you haven’t shagged?”

“I can still fire you, you know.”

*****

Despite what Andy said, Victoria texted him once the doctors decided to wake up Jack. Apparently, he had been in a medically induced coma, and the doctors had been monitoring him, but they determined that he was well enough to regain consciousness. His family would be back at the farm soon, which gave Robert a sense of both relief and anxiety. He’d been keeping the farm up and running for the past couple of days while Andy and Daz came back and forth between home and the hospital. Victoria had been staying with Diane while Jack was in Spain, apparently.

Unsurprisingly, tensions were running high in the Sudden household during the brief periods when Robert wasn’t alone. He didn’t really have anything against Daz, but the boy seemed intent on siding with his half-brother. Robert could only imagine the sort of things Andy had told him. 

“One of the sheep has an infection, but we need to get back. You can go down to Smithy and get Paddy to have a look.” 

Andy and Daz had returned to Butler’s the day after Robert’s arrival to freshen up and check on the farm. Robert was currently sitting, exhausted, at the kitchen table with a cup of tea while his brother puttered around.

“You can’t do that on your way back into town?”

“Just do it, Robert. I haven’t got time for this,” Andy sighed, as though he had been the one tending to the farm single-handedly. 

“I can’t stay here for long, you know,” Robert fired back. “I do have a job to get back to.” 

“Well good, none of us want you here.” It stung more than it should. 

“Diane and Victoria want me here. And you can’t deny that you need my help around here.”

“Yeah, whatever. Just get the vet to look at the sheep, yeah?” And he and Daz had rushed out the door, leaving Robert alone again in the ratty old farmhouse with nothing but his own grim thoughts to keep him company. The numbness in his chest was quickly seeping back in, and Robert cursed himself for being idiotic enough to come back. 

Now, two days later, Victoria was telling him over a measly text that their father was waking up, and that he’d be coming home soon. 

Vic: He’ll be staying with Diane at the Woolpack while he gets is strength back.

Robert’s heart was racing at the prospect of seeing his dad again for the first time since the Max King incident. He briefly considered getting his bag repacked and heading back to York, but decided that cowardice was not the way he wanted to go. 

It was 1:10 in the afternoon, and Paddy was meant to show up to look in on the sheep at 1:15. He slid open his phone and checked his messages from before Victoria’s. His roommate had called him twice and asked how he was doing, and his boss had also called, likely wondering when he would be back. He ignored both of them in favor of grabbing himself an afternoon snack and pushing his problems out of his head.

At 1:11 there was a knock on the front door. Paddy had showed up early, and he didn’t come alone. Standing next to the rather chubby and stuttering vet was the same kid that had caught his eye while bringing his car in for servicing. Aaron, now out of his work overalls, was wearing exactly what Robert would expect from a teenage chav living in a country village: a black hoodie and a pair of joggers that looked quite ridiculous tucked into his socks. He looked rather shaken up at the sight of Robert at the door, though he tried to cover it up with a very dramatic sniffle and a cough. The kid actually had a pretty nice face, if you could find it through the thick layer of teenage angst. 

“You’re early,” was all Robert said in greeting.

“Yeah, w-w-well I didn’t have much on so I thought I’d get a head start. An infection can be pretty serious, anyhow…” The man trailed off at the end of his explanation, with exactly the same low level of masculinity that Robert had remembered. If he wasn’t in an unrelenting state of glumness, he might have laughed. 

“If it was serious I would have called sooner. What’s with the shadow?” Robert gestured to Aaron with a tilt of his head. He knew he was being rude, but he could hardly find it in himself to care with everything else going on in his mind. Well, that was until he saw Aaron’s responding glare. That definitely got his attention.

“Oi, I’m standing right here, you know.” Robert was surprised, people normally found him intimidating when he was in a bad mood. Paddy certainly seemed intimidated. 

“He wanted to tag along,” Paddy responded quickly, trying to diffuse the situation. “He would never admit it, but he loves the animals.”

“Shuddup,” Aaron said abashedly, ducking his head and blushing slightly. It was a stark contrast to how he was a split second before. Clearly he had a soft spot for the bumbling vet. Miraculously, Robert found himself lightening up a bit as well. Which certainly had nothing to do with the moody teenager. Definitely not.

“Right, well I suppose I’ll show you to the barn then.” Robert couldn’t help but send Aaron a small grin before he opened the door and showed them out. He might have just been going mad, but he could have sworn he’d seen another blush appear on Aaron’s cheeks. 

*****

As Paddy inspected the sick animal, Aaron not-so-discreetly set about fawning over a particularly small lamb in the corner. It had been a runt, Robert could tell that much, probably rejected by its mother at birth. He wondered if Aaron had figured that out too.

“This could take a while, you two don’t have to stick around,” Paddy said without looking up from his woolen patient. 

“I can make us a cuppa back at the house, then. Come on Aaron.” The boy snapped his head up to meet Robert’s gaze. He looked shocked, like he wasn’t expecting Robert to remember his name. Reluctantly, Aaron stood up straight from where he was bent over the lamb, clearly trying to hide his disappointment at being torn away from his new friend. Robert was quickly realizing how much Aaron was hiding behind his hardman exterior.

The walk back to the house was silent. The words of Robert’s invitation were friendly, but his tone was challenging, and the older man could feel the tension radiating off of his new companion. He could understand the kid’s skepticism, assuming that he’d heard quite a bit about Robert from the village gossip. 

They got inside and Robert made a move directly towards the kettle, before realizing that Aaron was still standing about four feet from the door with a very suspicious expression “Well sit down, I don’t bite. Unless you want me to, that is.”

It was a bold move and could have earned him a proper right hook to the face, but it paid off. Aaron’s adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly and squirmed under Robert’s attention. His expression was somewhere between bashful and horrified, maybe a little curious as he sat down on the side of the table opposite from Robert.

“You certainly don’t talk much, do you?” The awkward tension in the room was lessened by the clatter of the kettle as Robert set about making a brew. 

“Not if I can help it, no.”

“’s a shame. I’d be interested to know what’s going on up in that shaved head of yours. Are you going bald, by the way, or is that haircut by choice.”

Aaron didn’t respond, just sat there glowering at him. Robert was tall already, and he was especially towering over Aaron who was sitting down. Nonetheless, he felt like Aaron had suddenly gained the upper hand with his unimpressed silence.

“Alright, no need to kill me with those eyes,” Robert joked as he poured the boiling water into two mugs on the counter. “I’m just trying to see what makes you tick.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Robert was once again taken aback by Aaron’s forwardness, particularly the suggestion in his voice. Determined to keep his cool, however, he simply let out a small huff, which he hoped sounded amused, and brought the two steaming mugs over to the kitchen table. Sitting across from Aaron, Robert decided to go with a different tactic.

“Why’re you following the local vet around anyway?” 

“I live with him.” 

“You what?”

“He’s with me mum.” His voice was matter-of-fact, but there was a hint of defensiveness in the lines of his face. Robert laughed out loud at that, surprising himself.

“Chastity Dingle? And Paddy? Wow, talk about settling.” It was a low blow, but true nonetheless. Robert really ought to do some self reflection on why his first instinct is always to get a rise out of people.

“Oi! Paddy’s a nice bloke. She could do a lot worse around here,” Aaron defended. “And trust me, she has done.”

For the first time since they entered the house Aaron broke his steely gaze and stared momentarily off into space. It was the second time, the first being with the lamb, that Robert had seen him let his guard down. Aaron was likely thinking of all the men who had done his mother wrong, though from what he knew about Chas, he was sure she could take plenty of the blame for her failed relationships.

“Well if we’re done chatting about your mum, you could tell me a little about you.” Just to test the waters a bit further, he allowed just a hint of flirtation to seep into voice. Just as quickly as he had let them down, Aaron’s walls went right back up.

“Nothing to tell,” the lad shrugged. He fixed Robert with a challenging gaze. “Why are you even interested anyway?”

Robert raised his eyebrows at him, leaning forwards and resting his elbows on the table. “I’m just making conversation mate.” He knew it was written all over his face that simple friendly conversing was not his intention. Still, Aaron’s face remained stoic and challenging.

“Yeah, well your conversation skills could use some work.” 

“You’ll have to excuse me, my father’s in hospital. I’m not exactly at my peak performance here.” He leaned back again and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“You don’t really seem that bothered about it though, do you? Not nearly as much as everyone else in this sorry village seems to be,” Aaron accused, taking his turn to lean forwards across the table and try to get under Robert’s skin.

“Well that shows what you know, doesn’t it?” His tone was sharp and the small outburst made Aaron grin smugly. Robert cursed internally for allowing himself to lose his cool. 

“Hey, I’m just trying to see what makes you tick.” There was a moment of silence where Robert tried to decide what to do with his own words thrown back in his face, but before he could open his mouth to retort, the door burst open and revealed a very frazzled Paddy.

“I’ve given the poor gal some antibiotics, but someone’s going to have to give her a dose every day for the next week. She should be right as rain soon enough.” The man was so busy sorting out his disheveled medical gear that he didn’t take any notice to the tense interaction he had just interrupted. 

“I think we can manage that, thanks mate.” The change in Robert’s demeanor nearly gave Aaron whiplash as the older bloke stood up to shake hands with the vet. 

“Well we best be going, I’m sure you’d like to have this one out of your hair,” Paddy said. If he noticed the untouched mugs that were being slowly oversaturated by the tea bags, then he didn’t mention it.

“Oi!” Aaron’s protest went unnoticed.

“Oh no, we had a nice chat, didn’t we?” He was giving Aaron that smarmy grin, the one that seemed to really rile him up.

“Whatever, let’s just go, yeah? Debbie’ll be waiting on me.” Without another glance at Robert Aaron walked right past his step-dad (or whatever he was) and out the door.

“Don’t mind him, he’s not really a people person,” Paddy said with a jerk of his head towards the door where Aaron had just disappeared. “Believe it or not you caught him on a good day.”

“Oh, I’m sure he and I will get along eventually, Patrick.”

“Yeah, sure.” An unconvinced Paddy gave Robert one last wave before following the grouchy teen out the door.

“Yeah… sure.” The door slid shut behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can cut the tension with a butter knife.


	3. Chapter 3

Aaron dreaded what would come next. He could already feel the panic starting to set in, a rush of hormones that spread quickly through his bloodstream and nearly knocked him off his feet. He knew Paddy was close behind him, and he picked up his pace, trying to get to the car as fast as he could. 

By the time he reached it, his breathing was heavy and unsteady, and his heart was hammering uncontrollably. No matter how much he inhaled he couldn’t seem to get enough oxygen. He barely registered Paddy’s concerned voice asking him if he was okay as he leaned back against the car and slid to the ground. 

As his breathing continued to get faster and faster, he could feel the tips of his fingers and toes begin to tingle. By the time Paddy was on the ground with a hand on his arm, his extremities were completely numb, and his panic was worsened by his inability to move his arms and legs. Everything around him was spinning. He was sure he was going to die.

Fucking Robert. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, how much effect the attraction he felt had on his mental state. Normally he could ignore it, but Robert had been staring at him so intently and his tone had been so blatantly suggestive. Whether or not the older man had been winding him up for his own amusement, the way it made him feel sickened him. How could he possibly want a man after everything that had happened to him? He was sick in the head, he was sure of it. He didn’t need some psychologist to tell him what was wrong.

“Aaron, can look at me?” Paddy’s voice finally started to bring him back to reality. His breathing settled down and some of the feeling returned to his hands and feet. “Look at me Aaron, please.”

He hadn’t realized he’d been crying, but he felt the chill from the gentle breeze hitting the dampness on his cheeks when he looked up. They stared at each other for several moments, Paddy looking concerned beyond belief, Aaron looking exhausted and broken.

“Talk to me mate, please.”

“I’m fine.” He sounded anything but fine. “I just freaked out for a second.” Now that most of the panic had dissipated Aaron felt fatigue set in. Despite its briefness, the attack took all the energy out of him.

“What happened? Was it Robert, did he do something?” Paddy accused, looking about ready to go back and slam the blond’s head into the kitchen counter. Aaron could have laughed at the prospect. “You need to talk to me mate. That was a serious panic attack you just had.”

“Can you just leave it for now? I need to get out of here,” Aaron begged desperately. He didn’t think he could spend another second on that farm. Paddy sighed in defeat.

“Fine, but don’t think this is over.” It was a threat, but the fatherly concern in Paddy’s tone comforted Aaron slightly. He was unsteady on his feet when Paddy helped him up. With one hand braced against the car, he allowed the older man to open the passenger side door so that he could slump into the front seat. He felt safer already, just being inside the car.

The short drive back was tense. Aaron kept his focus trained on the road straight ahead, but out of the corner of his eye he could see Paddy’s knuckles turning white under his grip on the wheel. 

*****

Aaron had been expecting the knock on his bedroom door, but his heart still began to beat just a bit faster when he heard his mother’s fist gently knock twice before opening the door ajar.

“Love? Can I come in?”

He was lying on his bed, deeply lost in thought. At first he’d tried to think about simple things. Easy things. In painful detail, he ran through everything Debbie would likely make him do the next day at the garage, everything from replacing Eric Pollard’s gear box to sorting inventory. He soon ran out of potential work to think about, however, and his mind inevitably wandered to Robert.

Even thinking the name made him feel sick all over again. There was something seriously messed up in his head for him to be so attracted to the strange man. Aaron had promised himself long ago that he would do everything in his power to move on from the harm his father had inflicted. Even the smallest reminder usually had him running for the hills. Any feelings he might have had for other lads he would pass off as jealousy or simple admiration. He would never admit that his dad’s abuse had some sort of long-term, life altering effect on him. Yet here he was, lying in his bed and pining after a man after everything that had happened to him. The universe could be so cruel.

“Whatever Paddy told you, I promise I’m fine.” Aaron didn’t even glance at her as she slipped into his room.

“Come off it, son. What sort of mum would I be if I left it at that, eh?”

Aaron snorted. “So that’s why you’re here, is it? You want to pretend like you care so you feel like you’ve done a proper job as a mother?” His harsh words didn’t have the effect that they normally would. His mum simply sighed and came over to sit next to him on the edge of his bed.

“Is that what you think? You think I don’t care?” He shrugged.

“Well I do. You have no idea how much I care. You’ll understand some day when you become a parent.” Aaron hoped she didn’t catch his slight flinch at her words.

“Why don’t you just say what you’re gonna say and leave me alone,” he said with false nonchalance. 

“You don’t really want me to leave you alone, kid.” The certainty and sadness in her voice made Aaron finally turn his head slightly to look at his mum. She was dressed in a night gown and her hair was pulled back from her face. Her makeup had long since been washed off, along with her usual air of sass and confidence. Aaron thought she looked beautiful.

“You reckon?”

“I reckon,” she began teasingly with a gentle grin, “that my mum left me alone when I was a kid. And as much as I convinced myself that I didn’t need her, everything seemed a lot less scary when she was around.”

Aaron just blinked up at her, his hardman act beginning to crumble.

“So why don’t you let me try and make up for my mistakes, yeah? I don’t want to be my mother, and I don’t want you to end up like me.”

There was sadness in her eyes, but she was still smiling gently as she reached out a hand to stroke his cheek. It was the first time in many years that he didn’t feel completely alone. For a split second, he believed that maybe his mum, for all her faults, would stand by him through whatever messed up stories he had about his childhood, through all sick thoughts he had swimming through his head. 

But Chas had abandoned him once before, what’s to say she wouldn’t do it again in a heartbeat? Looking back up to the ceiling, Aaron pulled his face away from where he was leaning into his mother’s touch. She sighed with sad frustration as she saw his walls go right back up.

“So what happened today then, hm? Was it Robert? Paddy thinks he might’ve said summat to you. You know his family don’t mix well with ours.” Her voice was loaded with what was likely an entire storybook’s worth of bad blood between the Sugdens and the Dingles.   
“We had an…interesting conversation.” He didn’t give anything away with his tone.

“Well, whether or not you two had words, it doesn’t explain that freak-out Paddy told me about. Clearly something serious is going on in that head of yours.”

“I honestly don’t know what happened,” he lied right through his teeth. “I just got overwhelmed for a minute is all.”

“That’s not an answer, and you know it,” she said sternly. After a pause she continued, “I won’t be getting anything out of you tonight, will I?”

“You know me so well.”

Chas sighed again as she looked worriedly down at her son. “I’m just worried, son. It sounded serious when he told me.”

“Yeah, well we both know Paddy’s not unfamiliar with the concept of overreactions,” he retorted, as if that explained anything. His mum was right; it was serious. It was very serious. Even Aaron could see, through all of his teenage denial, that it was serious. He’d worked himself up into such a state that day, he thought he was going to die on that farm. That wasn’t normal, and Paddy hadn’t overreacted.

“I’ll let you get some sleep, alright? But I’m not gonna let this go ya know.”

“Of course you’re not.”

“If there’s something going on with you, you can tell me about it. Or Paddy. We’re here to support you.” She didn’t wait for a reply, just leaned down and kissed him on the head, just like she used to when he was young.

Aaron couldn’t help but shake his head once his mum shut the door. It was all too perfect, the whole situation. The nice house, the caring mum and father figure, the supportive parental chats. He wasn’t naive enough to let his guard down and get comfortable. Chas was a serial mistake-maker. This wouldn’t last. The pseudo-family unit the three of them had created was bound to collapse sooner or later, just like everything else in his life had done. If he let himself relax and enjoy the security, it would hurt him even more when it all fell apart.

*****

It was apparent that no one had informed Jack of Robert’s return, if the shock on his face was anything to go by. He hadn’t even waited for Diane to speak when she opened the back door of the Woolpack, just said a quick hello and barged right past her, ignoring her disgruntled demeanor at his unannounced visit. His father was sitting at the kitchen table with Victoria while Andy made himself busy in the kitchen area. Darren was seemingly absent.

“Robert.” It fell out of Jack’s mouth with an exhale. The mug in his hand was forgotten, halfway between the table and his lips. One would’ve thought he was looking at a dead man risen with the utter disbelief in his features. It was silent for a moment as the other three waited for an outburst that didn’t come. 

“You said you’d text before you came over,” Victoria said unsteadily.

“I didn’t know you needed a warning.” Robert’s voice was flat and empty as he stared at Jack. He wanted to move forward, but felt like his feet were rooted to the spot. He could feel Andy’s eyes burning into him, even without looking. His brother was clearly daring him to start something. The smug bastard was probably hoping for Robert to make a mess of things.

To say that their dad looked exhausted was an understatement. There were deep, dark bags under his heavily lidded eyes; his posture was hunched and the hand holding the mug was trembling slightly. Nevertheless, he put the cup down carefully and braced a hand on the table. Ever so slowly, the man pushed himself up from the chair and walked slowly over to his son. The two of them never once took their eyes off each other. 

“I can’t believe you’re here.” Robert had never seen his dad look so emotional, though he couldn’t quite decipher what the emotion was. Perhaps the old man couldn’t decipher it either. There appeared to be a battle raging in his head. 

“So they didn’t tell you I was back then, eh.” It wasn’t a question.

“Dad we were gonna tell you, I swear,” Victoria cut in, sounding desperate. “We just hadn’t found the right time.”

“You don’t owe an explanation, Vic,” Andy said, glaring at Robert. Jack was unperturbed by the tense conversation, not taking his eyes off the man in front of him. 

“I told you to leave and never come back.” Robert could tell by Jack’s voice that his father’s thoughts were a long way away. “I’ve been so scared that you’d listened.”

It took several moments for Robert to process those words. Of all the things he was expecting to hear upon his return, that was not one of them. He was so certain that his dad never wanted to see him again, not after what happened to Max King. Jack’s words sounded a bit like forgiveness, but that couldn’t be right. He was never forgiving with Robert like he was with Andy.

If he wasn’t shocked enough already, Jack reached out and pulled Robert against him, with as much strength as he could muster, into the first hug they’d shared since Robert could remember. Once he got over the initial shock of the gesture, Robert relaxed into it. It was far more comforting than he could have expected, and he cursed himself for allowing his formerly estranged father have so much power over him. 

Jack pulled away to look at him, and Robert reluctantly let go. “You’ve grown since the last time I saw you,” he remarked, and just like that, Robert shook himself back to reality. This was the man who sent him away, who stood by Andy when he burned their mother to death, but disowned Robert when he crawled into a crashed car to save his brother’s life. Father or not, this was not a man from whom Robert should be seeking comfort, but should be protecting himself from. Hoping to rebuild a relationship with Jack was not something that Robert should become invested in.

The older man immediately noticed his son’s change in demeanor, but before he could react, Robert saw his eyes lose focus and his body begin to sway unsteadily. Andy rushed forward immediately, along with Diane, and the two of them began to usher Jack towards the stairs in a flurry so that he could have a lie down. The pivotal interaction that had just occurred between father and son was all but forgotten about. Even Victoria rushed straight past Robert to follow the other three upstairs, leaving Robert alone with his mind reeling and his heart pounding. 

It was baffling how, even in a house full of the most important people in his life, Robert still managed to feel so alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't parents great?

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a set up for everything coming. Aaron will appear in the next chapter, don't worry.


End file.
